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Before they became parents, Tech. Sgt. Nicholas Palmer and his wife Leah thought children who threw tantrums in public needed firmer discipline. When their first child, Easton, was diagnosed with Autism, they soon realized tantrums sometimes can’t be controlled.
“We would be out and see a child go absolutely berserk and I would think, ‘Get that child under control,’” Sergeant Palmer said. “Two years later, Easton is doing it, and you realize that you’re in no position to judge anybody.”
Mrs. Palmer claims that when Easton was born he came out screaming and never stopped. He cried and never slept, and he woke up every 20 minutes for three to four hours at a time. The Palmers began to wonder if something was seriously wrong.
“Follow your gut, it’s not about what other people are saying or thinking,” Mrs. Palmer said. “You know what’s going on with your child and if your gut says something is going on with my child, there’s something going on.”
When he was 3, Easton was diagnosed with mild Asperger’s Syndrome with hyposensitivity and sensory seeking.
“There were times when I did not buy into what we were being told,” Sergeant Palmer said. “I was a skeptic and did not want to admit that my child had a problem.”
The Palmers wanted to try alternatives to medicine after Easton was diagnosed, so they tried changing his diet and it seemed to work.
“His diet changed our lives drastically,” Mrs. Palmer said. “We gradually cut out gluten and dairy and after six weeks of detox he woke up one morning and looked at me and said, ‘My head. It’s not loud, it’s quiet.’ He had never spoken that well before and it was amazing. After that his speech skills soared.”
They also decided German schools were the best choice for Easton, who is now 5 and in kindergarten. Through their culture and curriculum, he related more easily to German teaching styles. A lot of the learning is through social interaction, which is something Easton needs.
Though time with other children helps Easton’s development, time to himself makes stress management easier.
“When he gets overwhelmed he does puzzles,” Mrs. Palmer said. “It helps him think things through and sort himself out. He can knock a 100-piece puzzle out in 10 minutes.”
Although finding things to make life easier for Easton is important, it’s also important to find things that will benefit everyone in the Palmer family, including their youngest son Junah.
“It is so draining every day, and you never know what it’s going to be from one day to the next,” Mrs. Palmer said. “When you have a child with special needs, I think family support is necessary because it does put a big strain on your relationship.”
The Palmers have found support through the Exceptional Family Member Program. The family support function of EFMP was something the Air Force added five months ago and was designed to assist military family members with special needs.
“The support we have gotten has been great,” Sergeant Palmer said. “When you are around other families that have some of the same difficulties you do, it’s just kind of nice knowing someone understands where you’re coming from. When Leah found out about the support group that meets on Vogelweh, she said we needed to go, and I didn’t question it.”
Though the Palmers have found strength in other families with similar circumstances, they’ve come to realize how valuable their experience has been.
“I want parents to know that it is hard, but so worth it,” Mrs. Palmer said. “There are so many good things that have come from this hiccup that it’s not even a burden. He’s blessed us on so many levels.”
Although the past five years have been a struggle, the Palmers wouldn’t have it any other way.
“He has made me a better person, flat out, hands down, and I don’t think that’s ever going to stop,” Sergeant Palmer said. “He’s going to challenge me to push the boundaries of who I am and how to accept people. This challenge is something I look forward to.”
CONTACT NUMBERS:
» Air Force EFMP contact:
EFMP – Family Support Coordinator
DSN – 480-1742
CIV – 06371-47-1742
URL – www.86fss.com
E-mail – 86fss.efmp@ramstein.af.mil
» Army EFMP contact:
Army Community Services
DSN – 493-4094
CIV – 0631-3406-4094
URL – www.mwrgermany.com/kl/acs/efmp.htm
