Celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone or something

by Heather Robinson
USAG Kaiserslautern Employee Assistance Coordinator

February brings to mind friendships, love and valued relationships. But how do we know it qualifies as a relationship? Ask the following questions:

• Am I identified by others as being linked with someone?
• Do I identify myself as being linked with someone?
• Am I preoccupied at times with thoughts of someone?
• Is my free time spent with that someone?
• When I spend time with others, do I attempt to ensure that I still have quality time with my special someone?
• If you took my special someone away, would I feel the impact of that loss?
• Do I make sacrifices for that someone?
• Can I predict the level of support I will get from that someone?
• Do I emotionally rely on that someone?
• Does that someone bring out the wild side of me and make me crazy?

If the answer to these questions is “yes” and we are talking about an actual person, then I say congratulations and Happy Valentine’s Day. Now, take a minute with that special someone and go back over the questions. If you am able to replace the word “someone” with alcohol or a drug of choice, then it is possible you have entered into a relationship with a substance.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that “one of the clearest demonstrations of how alcohol use negatively impacts the family is the widely documented association between alcohol use and interpersonal violence.”

Family problems that are likely to co-occur with alcohol problems include violence, marital conflict, infidelity, jealousy, economic insecurity, divorce and fetal alcohol effect. Drinking problems may negatively alter marital and family functioning, but there is also evidence that they can increase as a consequence of marital and family problems. Thus, drinking and family functioning are strongly and reciprocally linked. Not surprisingly, alcohol problems are common in couples going to marital therapy, and marital problems are common in drinkers who present for alcohol treatment.

For more information or training on how alcohol or drug use may be impacting your relationships, call 486-1710 or e-mail heather.a.robinson1@us.army.mil.
(Heather Robinson is the U.S. Army Garrison Kaiserslautern employee assistance coordinator and Army Substance Abuse Program prevention coordinator.)