Arming your teen with communication

Do you remember what it was like being a teenager? Thinking back, it is hard for me to recall the exact mix of hormones, curiosity, peer pressure and invincibility that I had as a teen. However, I do recall some vivid instances that adult perspective has since made me realize were really dumb, risky behaviors. 

At the time, winning a sporting event against a cross town rival, wearing the “cool” clothes, having a certain group of friends, or having a certain girlfriend or boyfriend seemed like the whole of my existence. I get a glimpse of this youthful (and potentially misguided) attitude every time I walk the halls of one of the local middle and high schools. I’m amazed that I survived.

I remember a day on the bus ride to middle school when my friends were talking about “getting to first, second or third base.” However, after a girl’s name and certain anatomical features were mentioned, I realized they were no longer referring to baseball. By the time high school rolled around, it was clear “the bases” were just a pre-cursor to “scoring” and apparently a lot of people were playing this game. 

Do you remember how much you learned from friends, how much you were exposed to by upper grade level students? Maybe you had an older brother, sister, boyfriend or girlfriend.  I can clearly remember the exciting milestones, such as first kiss, first date and first love and the really painful experiences, like the first rejection or break-up. Do you remember how much your hormones and emotions intertwined? Can you recall those feelings of awkwardness and uncertainty relating to a member of the opposite sex?

How did your parents talk to you about sex and intimate decision-
making? Do you remember those awkward conversations often referred to as “The Talk” (if your parents even had the “The Talk” with you at all)?  I remember how ineffective, short and embarrassing the conversation was with my parents. I think my dad was too busy turning red, attempting to find something else to do or just pretending it would all go away for me to be comfortable talking about it with him. It was obviously something I should not even be thinking about, much less discuss at my age. Meanwhile, my mother slugged through the basics with gritted determination that I failed to appreciate since I was a teenager and knew it all anyway. Besides, I could always fill in the gaps with information from friends.

But what if you could have truly effective and meaningful conversations with your teen — and know your teenager is actually listening? 

As a parent, you know today’s teenagers are exposed to much more sexual imagery and pressures than you ever imagined at their age. Could you have conceived of the term “sexting” as a teen?

Many behaviors, once considered taboo, are now commonplace in the news, on TV and on the Internet. The Internet has totally changed how limitless information and ideas can be gathered at the click of a button.  In the world of e-mail, blogs, chat rooms and social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, it is unlikely you can completely shelter your teen, therefore it is even more important to be able to communicate with your teenager.

What do you say to your teenager to help him or her make safer choices and still have fun dating with a healthy approach to intimacy? Discover three quick approaches that can be adapted to your child’s personality to help ensure they make much better decisions for themselves and in helping their friends at dances and parties. 

At 6:30 p.m. Thursday in the Galaxy Theater, come out to the entertaining and enlightening program titled “Help! My Teen is Dating: Realistic Solutions to Tough Conversations.”   Bring your teenager along and you will be amazed by the conversations you’ll have afterward.

Known for his interactive, humorous and hard-hitting approach with audiences, Mike Domitrz inspires parents and teenagers to have meaningful conversations about difficult topics. Inspired by his sister after she survived being sexually assaulted, Mr. Domitrz has traveled the country for more than a decade sharing with people of all lifestyles and backgrounds.

In the past few years, the military has taken a proactive approach to reducing sexual assault across its installations, and servicemembers are praising the show and its ability to change their decision-making in moments of dating and intimacy.
To learn more about the upcoming presentation, call 489-6771 or visit www.DateSafeProject.org and www.canikissyou.com.

(Courtesy of the School Liaison Office)