Learning to deal with deployments

In a military environment, many students are frequently faced with parents getting deployed to different, and sometimes dangerous, places for a period of months or even a year or longer.

Already being in a foreign country, having your parent leave you behind for a while can be a little intimidating and even scary if you are not used to the culture or just adjusting to your surroundings.

Some may ask, how do students and their families deal with these deployments? How do they pass the time in a more uplifting way and stay optimistic? How do you stay connected with your parent and keep them informed of your life and how much you miss them? Different methods work better for different people and situations, but here are some tips:

Stay connected through e-mail, Facebook or Skype. These allow you to keep in touch with your deployed parent, no matter where in the world, and tell them what has been happening recently. Skype allows you to use a Web cam to talk face to face with them. Keeping your parent up to date with your life is important for them to adjust when they get back as well as making the space that separates you smaller. It allows them to be a part of your life while they’re gone.

Keep some kind of countdown until they get back. Break the increments down into months, days or however you want to keep track. This allows you to see progress as you wait for them. It gives you the daily reassurance that you will be together again soon.

And stay busy. Becoming idol or lazy can lead to separation issues and make it so the deployed parent is all you think about. Become active in your community, at school, or with a musical, play or sport. Or just do things with friends. Staying active will keep your mind off the deployment and will pass the time effectively.

And travel. A change in setting can be another effective time passer and lets you relax as you see new sights and gain new experiences. Some may find it hard to take long trips without their loved ones, but travel does not have to be drastic. Just take a day trip to a nearby sight or attraction you have heard of like a museum or a zoo.

Another way to pass the time is to send packages back and forth. In the packages, include an assortment of things like nonperishable foods or candy, presents, pictures, letters or even family videos.

Go outside at night and look at the stars. Just remember that you and your parent are looking at the same stars.

Finding a friend who is going through a similar situation and just talking about how you are feeling, your worries, experiences and how you are dealing with it is another way to cope with a deployment. It will feel good to express your thoughts to another person and will assure you that you are not alone. You will know that you can turn to that friend for help and that they can come to you when they have similar worries and feelings.

Deployments are a hard thing to deal with. Being separated from one of your parents for a long amount of time can be difficult to adjust to. By trying some of these things and being creative, you can feel better about it and make the experience much easier to cope with and less frightening.